Just something to lighten things up... Had a strange call just a couple of minutes ago, I'll have to see where it's gonna lead...
26 July, 2007
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Ane Brun: Behind Closed Doors
I just had to post this...*melancholic*
What am I gonna do?
I am crying a bottle of wine over you
This is something I don´t usually do
But I am crying a bottle of wine over you
For me it is red or nothing
Hey-ho my lover will go
And this will ruin everything
Hey-ho my lover will go
I´m just too romantic
Hey-ho my lover will go
Without any sense of strategies
Hey-ho my lover will go
Twelve days and many long days have passed
Since I let go of my heart way too fast
Too many long summer nights
I´ve been checking for errors on the telephone lines
For me it is red or nothing
Hey-ho my lover will go
And this will ruin everything
Hey-ho my lover will go
I´m just too romantic
Hey-ho my lover will go
Without any sense of strategies
Hey-ho my lover will go
What am I gonna do
I am pouring my heart all over you
I guess I recognize this too
I think I´m falling in love with you
Bad dream
I had the weirdest dream last night. Yesterday, we all went to the beach, had a great time, I made dinner for us all, we cleaned up the kitchen, had our baths and went to bed as we were a little tired. All seemed well with the world, until I fell asleep. I can only remember the latter part of the dream. I was in this huge house and I was looking for something, can’t remember what, I was like looking out everywhere. Then I saw this girl looking at me but not saying nothing then disappearing. Each time I tried to talk to her she’d vanish. I know I’d seen her before, but I didn’t know from where. Anyway, I kept looking around the house and I get to this also huge living/library room. I was amazed at the quantity of books in there so I believe I was open-mouthed looking at it, when suddenly I feel this hand around my neck. I immediately looked and it was the girl I’d seen before. She was tightening her grip of her hand on me, I was choking. Then she started crying, but never wavering her strength. I believe I was looking at her with both fear and compassion, but I really didn’t know why was she doing that. I tried asking why.
“Wh-why.. are.. you…?” She pulled her extended arm back, bringing me along and looked at me closely, her tears were stronger. I blinked. “I…don’t know.. wha’.. you talking…”
She widened her eyes. “You don’t? This was how I felt when you left me.” And she used all of her strength to finish me up.
I woke up grasping my neck and I still could feel the grip slightly leaving sensation. I blinked several times, looking around I was in my room, the early birds were chirping outside and I was scared.
I was seeking in my mind who that girl could be and I had NO idea! I have never seen her before! Then it popped into my head, I don’t really know her, but I have seen her… Where?!
I still dunno who she is.
24 July, 2007
Just a day
Today was just an ordinary day. Well… I barely slept. A roomie of ours has some friends sleeping over and we the other two of us didn’t quite sleep because they just didn’t shut the fuck up till 4 friggin’ AM! Needless to say, I woke up moody. The rest of the day was quiet as I tried to recover from an ill-spent night. Then around six-ish I decided to go shopping. I went to the mall and into the art store. I brought home several packs of Fimo and worked on a sort of a sculpture I had promised to a friend of mine. I finished it just a little ago and I have to say, it could have turned out better. Well I can do another one if she doesn’t like, it’s no biggie, doesn’t take that much time to do.
And now I am reading myself to go to bed. That of course, doesn’t necessarily mean that I will go to sleep.. I just hope I do.
19 July, 2007
New toy
Waaaaaa! (^-^)! I just got Dance EJay 7 and it rocks!!!! I've been spoofing around with some samples but it's awesome. Lol, I think I will become a DJ! (u_u)*determined*
18 July, 2007
In the Trash
I hoped for something
in sequence
three thousand miles away
giving away old clothes
i like to catch my breath,
at the lost and found
wandering the alleys of this city
Não te quero senão porque te quero
Não te quero senão porque te quero,
e de querer-te a não te querer chego,
e de esperar-te quando não te espero,
passa o meu coração do frio ao fogo.
Quero-te só porque a ti te quero,
Odeio-te sem fim e odiando te rogo,
e a medida do meu amor viajante,
é não te ver e amar-te,
como um cego.
Tal vez consumirá a luz de Janeiro,
seu raio cruel meu coração inteiro,
roubando-me a chave do sossego,
nesta história só eu me morro,
e morrerei de amor porque te quero,
porque te quero amor,
a sangue e fogo.
Pablo Neruda
15 July, 2007
Moody blues
I love music, I really do. It's my therapy, way cheaper than the shrink too.
I have never followed ant specific rules to learn music and I was sort of self taught. The first things I learned were with friends and then I did all by myself. OK, I am not a virtuoso but I think I am ok with my skills. I could be better, that's a fact. Maybe that chance can be provided to me still. Anyway, babbling here. What I meant to write was something else, but related. I was home this afternoon and I was doing the usual cleanings and after that some learning chords time. I have a friend of mine who asked me if I could do a cover of Radiohead's Creep only guitar and voice and I said why not? So, I was freshening my memory of the chords and re-learning them as I played once, twice and so on. I haven't recorded it yet, because my voice today was a little hoarse and I didn't think it was turning out ok. So, basically this afternoon was that, I did a new song (wee!) called Warm inside (it's not because it's mine, but I think it's actually cool) and I covered for With or without you by U2 as well. Maybe next post will contain some samples if not the entire songs for you guys to listen... (^_~) Maybe!
OK now what I wanted to say. I had dinner around nine and went to the kitchen and found my roomie, also making dinner for her and her boyfriend (whom I have this eeky feeling for, and I usually don't get very wrong with people... except my love interests... oh nevermind that!) We chatted a bit, she's quite funny and we get along just great. I had dinner and came back to my room. I was playing a CSI game and it was about 11PM or so when I hear some guitar strumming. She has one as well. but it's he who does most of the playing thing. Guess what was he playing? Creep. At that point I am sure I got like this (>_<¤) really! I mean! C'mon! What was that? I can be over doing this but I just got the impression he was going like 'Hey I am playing too and I'm better than you! ~nyah nyah' (which he's not!) And this is not the first time it happens. I think it's getting into my nerves... I already had some sort of... icky feeling for him and with this... Ok, I have nothing against him, but here's my question: He lives around the house like 24/7 and he never said anything like 'hey you play guitar too? cool we could play something along sometime.' Or something along the line. It doesn't mean we would have to. It would only be polite. He knows I play guitar, in fact I have my two guitars here... Is it me or it's just some kind of rudeness of him? I think he doesn't like the fact that I can play guitar. His girlfriend plays too, to what extent, I don't know. I don't get it and I don't like this. I just feel like were as sworn enemies, God knows why...
(¬_¬) I'll be on the watch, pal...
I have never followed ant specific rules to learn music and I was sort of self taught. The first things I learned were with friends and then I did all by myself. OK, I am not a virtuoso but I think I am ok with my skills. I could be better, that's a fact. Maybe that chance can be provided to me still. Anyway, babbling here. What I meant to write was something else, but related. I was home this afternoon and I was doing the usual cleanings and after that some learning chords time. I have a friend of mine who asked me if I could do a cover of Radiohead's Creep only guitar and voice and I said why not? So, I was freshening my memory of the chords and re-learning them as I played once, twice and so on. I haven't recorded it yet, because my voice today was a little hoarse and I didn't think it was turning out ok. So, basically this afternoon was that, I did a new song (wee!) called Warm inside (it's not because it's mine, but I think it's actually cool) and I covered for With or without you by U2 as well. Maybe next post will contain some samples if not the entire songs for you guys to listen... (^_~) Maybe!
OK now what I wanted to say. I had dinner around nine and went to the kitchen and found my roomie, also making dinner for her and her boyfriend (whom I have this eeky feeling for, and I usually don't get very wrong with people... except my love interests... oh nevermind that!) We chatted a bit, she's quite funny and we get along just great. I had dinner and came back to my room. I was playing a CSI game and it was about 11PM or so when I hear some guitar strumming. She has one as well. but it's he who does most of the playing thing. Guess what was he playing? Creep. At that point I am sure I got like this (>_<¤) really! I mean! C'mon! What was that? I can be over doing this but I just got the impression he was going like 'Hey I am playing too and I'm better than you! ~nyah nyah' (which he's not!) And this is not the first time it happens. I think it's getting into my nerves... I already had some sort of... icky feeling for him and with this... Ok, I have nothing against him, but here's my question: He lives around the house like 24/7 and he never said anything like 'hey you play guitar too? cool we could play something along sometime.' Or something along the line. It doesn't mean we would have to. It would only be polite. He knows I play guitar, in fact I have my two guitars here... Is it me or it's just some kind of rudeness of him? I think he doesn't like the fact that I can play guitar. His girlfriend plays too, to what extent, I don't know. I don't get it and I don't like this. I just feel like were as sworn enemies, God knows why...
(¬_¬) I'll be on the watch, pal...
14 July, 2007
10 July, 2007
Do you think that is possible, when two people are universally, probably karmically connected even if they are miles away from each other, when one has the perfect of perfectest of days the other one has the lousiest, crappiest of days?
Just a little thought over this, I think it can.
It's the so-called butterlfly effect. The flapping of the wings of a butterfly in Beijing can provoke a tornado in New York, or something like that.
I think it can be applied to people as well. We all act according to Newton's Third Law, the action-reaction pair. All we do has repercussions in us as well in others.
So, if I am feeling peachy one day, there is someone at some place that is probably wanting to commit suicide.
But right now I am the one who wants to kill herself. So I really hope that the person that is connected to me, is having one heck of a hell of a good time!
Just a little thought over this, I think it can.
It's the so-called butterlfly effect. The flapping of the wings of a butterfly in Beijing can provoke a tornado in New York, or something like that.
I think it can be applied to people as well. We all act according to Newton's Third Law, the action-reaction pair. All we do has repercussions in us as well in others.
So, if I am feeling peachy one day, there is someone at some place that is probably wanting to commit suicide.
But right now I am the one who wants to kill herself. So I really hope that the person that is connected to me, is having one heck of a hell of a good time!
09 July, 2007
Never again
I just want to say something...
I will not set foot on that town ever again.
I don't care.
I will not go back with my word.
I will never go back again.
I can't explain. Just hope you understand.
I will not set foot on that town ever again.
I don't care.
I will not go back with my word.
I will never go back again.
I can't explain. Just hope you understand.
08 July, 2007
Back baby!! =D
Had "something"... that thing lost spark then stopped... after making something stupid at 4am I decided to cut my losses and gave "the problem" the proverbial kick in the ass ( not literally lol, I just told him if he didn't want anything to stop trying). It hurt like a bitch to do so, it hurt even more even he started dating who he really wanted but I eventually got over it. Now I only feel stupid for the things I did for love... learned my lesson though, won't do the same mistakes \m/.
Spent a few months in "social-mental rehab" surrounded with the right people - the hiatus was because I was really sad and didn't want to talk about it in that state. Thank god for that bar in my campus... drank, cried, talked, played cards, was the loudest I was in months...
I now can't drink a full beer, not so fond of moscatel wine too anymore, I'm in luv with 7up...=)) I'm fed up of playing cards, haven't cried because of this in many months and I'm not loud but I'm not percieved as shy anymore... And I found myself a punk-nerd!! xDD
I'm back baby!!! New and improved, oh yeah!!!
=D
=D
05 July, 2007
03 July, 2007
Another day over La-La Land
It has been a lazy day today. I planned to wake up late but early in the morning there was this constant bell ringing at our door and since no one got up to see what it was, I did. It was the mail man. Frick, it's the 3rd time this happens! Doesn't he see other bells too ring on?!
Ok, so I got out and went to open the door for him not even bothering that I was on my pj's, half-asleep and very much cranky. Personal memo: cute and short cat pj's are not allowed outside the house. 'Nuff said.
I got back home and crawled into bed again, waking up around 4PM. I had lunch, tidied my room a little and watched a movie.
Now there was something that buggered me for like a couple of days. Just the other day I was using my mobile and I get a totally unexpected ring. It was from a friend of mine, we went to prep school together and it's like what, 9 years or so that we haven't spoke to each other. I didn't ring her back till today. I just thought 'Oh well...'
After a while I get a text, it was her.
Hey! How have you been doing? All good I hope. I also hope this is your number... What have you been up to? We never spoke again... Kisses, Ana.
Well, I dunno how would you feel if you got a text like this, but I tell ya I had a funny feeling about this... kind of outta place, y'know? I felt some oddity on it but I replied, saying all was good with me and yes it was true that we didn't talk for a while.
Then she asks: Do you have MSN or anything like that? You know, to talk... What have you been doing? Kisses.
Odd I tell ya, odd. I replied again saying yes I do and gave her my e-mail address. OK, maybe I shouldn't have but... There is something fishy about this. I dunno what but I think I sense it and I am finding out.
Let's see what happens.
Ok, so I got another text from her a while after.
I'm already on vacations! Of all goes well, I get out of nursing school in a year. Oh I've added you on MSN. Kiss.
Okay...
I turned MSN on by dinner time (which means now) and I had her request pending. I accept it and she immediately said hi.
The talk was so or like this:
she: Heeeey! :D
me: Hi there :)
she: I've added you. :p
me: I can see that lol
she: So! how's it going? where are you now? still in Lisbon?
me: All is good yeah, still in Lisbon.
she: I haven't seen you in aaages! Have you been coming here regulary?
me: well yes as a matter of fact. I only didn't go last weekend. but I will the next.
she: really? that's great 'cos next weekend it's my graduation. we so need to go out! :D
me: lol ok
she: where are you living now?
me: with some college friends, we live near college which is nice.
she: cool :) so any news?
me: News? hmm nope, nothing special
she: Hmm no boyfriend?
me: Lol nah, free as a bird.
she: Lol ok.
me: You? (i meant this as in do you have any news, not on the matter she obviously answered...)
she: Oh I'm single too, no boyfriend at the moment.
me:Ok...(insert odd feeling here)
At this moment I went to make some dinner and left.
she: Well gonna get a shower then I'm off with some friends for a coffee.
she: Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiss
I got here like an hour after, looked at the screen and just said ok.
I think the Universe gets a kick outta playing people up like pawns...
Ok, so I got out and went to open the door for him not even bothering that I was on my pj's, half-asleep and very much cranky. Personal memo: cute and short cat pj's are not allowed outside the house. 'Nuff said.
I got back home and crawled into bed again, waking up around 4PM. I had lunch, tidied my room a little and watched a movie.
Now there was something that buggered me for like a couple of days. Just the other day I was using my mobile and I get a totally unexpected ring. It was from a friend of mine, we went to prep school together and it's like what, 9 years or so that we haven't spoke to each other. I didn't ring her back till today. I just thought 'Oh well...'
After a while I get a text, it was her.
Hey! How have you been doing? All good I hope. I also hope this is your number... What have you been up to? We never spoke again... Kisses, Ana.
Well, I dunno how would you feel if you got a text like this, but I tell ya I had a funny feeling about this... kind of outta place, y'know? I felt some oddity on it but I replied, saying all was good with me and yes it was true that we didn't talk for a while.
Then she asks: Do you have MSN or anything like that? You know, to talk... What have you been doing? Kisses.
Odd I tell ya, odd. I replied again saying yes I do and gave her my e-mail address. OK, maybe I shouldn't have but... There is something fishy about this. I dunno what but I think I sense it and I am finding out.
Let's see what happens.
Gawd... talk about weird stuff...
Ok, so I got another text from her a while after.
I'm already on vacations! Of all goes well, I get out of nursing school in a year. Oh I've added you on MSN. Kiss.
Okay...
I turned MSN on by dinner time (which means now) and I had her request pending. I accept it and she immediately said hi.
The talk was so or like this:
she: Heeeey! :D
me: Hi there :)
she: I've added you. :p
me: I can see that lol
she: So! how's it going? where are you now? still in Lisbon?
me: All is good yeah, still in Lisbon.
she: I haven't seen you in aaages! Have you been coming here regulary?
me: well yes as a matter of fact. I only didn't go last weekend. but I will the next.
she: really? that's great 'cos next weekend it's my graduation. we so need to go out! :D
me: lol ok
she: where are you living now?
me: with some college friends, we live near college which is nice.
she: cool :) so any news?
me: News? hmm nope, nothing special
she: Hmm no boyfriend?
me: Lol nah, free as a bird.
she: Lol ok.
me: You? (i meant this as in do you have any news, not on the matter she obviously answered...)
she: Oh I'm single too, no boyfriend at the moment.
me:Ok...(insert odd feeling here)
At this moment I went to make some dinner and left.
she: Well gonna get a shower then I'm off with some friends for a coffee.
she: Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiss
I got here like an hour after, looked at the screen and just said ok.
I think the Universe gets a kick outta playing people up like pawns...
