Love/Hate

Love

A simple four-letter word. A force stronger than the enraged sea and yet so tender and sweet as the warm sun rays in a spring day.

Hate

Another simple four-letter word. A word that sometimes we mistake for Love as it can creep into one's heart and, if unnoticed, fill it until the last drop. And it can be eerily comforting. At a lack of a better word, I'd say strangely comforting and safe. Just like love. A different kind of love. Not an altruist, unselfish love that everyone dreams of. Not a love that makes you climb the highest mountain. Not a love that makes you feel wanted...

I've grown to hate more and more each day that passes. That's why I hate to love. Or love to hate?

I like sunny days...

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day... Another petty excuse to lead people to be yet again propelled against the capitalist wave we all live in... It's the cards, the chocolates, the funny stuffed animals... Oh and let's not forget the old traditional flower bouquets. Since when telling the person you love got so damn expensive?! Oh well, in a couple of years they gonna find out some other way to make people spend their money on something else. It's called marketing. To make people spend the money they don't have on things they don't need. I was never pulled into the buy-your-love thing... Maybe because I never loved anyone. Trully, I mean. Or I was never loved as well. But there was a someone. A long, long time ago. Anyway, she doesn't count.

She never did.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If little happy bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Blind Faith

Time does change everything. "Time changes people and people change the times." I once heard. Considering all things, I believe it's true. I do believe time does change the people. And immensely, I must add.

Unknown (part II)

I wrung my hands under my dark my dark veil...
"Why are you so pale, what makes you reckless?"
Because I made my loved one drunk
with an adstringent sadness.

I'll never forget. She went out, reeling;
Her mouth was twisted, desolate...
I ran downstairs, not touching the bannisters
and followed her as far as the gate.

And shouted, choking: "I meant it all!
Don't leave me or I'll die of pain."
She smiled at me - Oh so calmly, so terribly -
and said: "Why don't you get out of the rain?"

Rainy days

The weather isn't better and I don't like it... It's not like a rainy day does wonders to my mood. It was easier before.. Before everything.. Before the old me. The better me, the good me. Now that belongs to a distant time. A time where all the things were in the right places and the heart was where it belonged. Open to love and happiness. Open to the world, open to everyone.

Now all of that is just a shadow of what it was and I am just a shell. Empty. Devoided of emotions, feelings. Heartless. That's what I have become. I don't have the flame of life in me as I once had.When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't see the passion in my eyes for life anymore. All I see is a weary face, sad eyes with tears welling up, threatning to spill. I've been reduced to this. All is lost...

My Last Tango

Thousands, no millions of hours
We've been skirting around this whole subject
Like children stuck in a museum.
And I'm dry now.
My mouth will not speak, I'm weary and weak
And I only wanted to see you again.

If that's unfair, just let me know,
Just write it down and then I'll go.

But you skate around my human skin
A lump where your throat begins
Just say...
Just tell the stars to give a sign,
Put it in a bottle.......
Say you're mine.

And it's better, better than music,
Better than words to be with you
But better that we're apart.
Can you feel it?
It's taken over me, left me for dead
Who knew a princess and survived?

And so I ask in every line
That I might learn of your design

Because you skate around my human skin
Your name is where my heart begins
Just say...
Just tell the stars to give a sign,

Put it in a bottle...

Say you're mine.

In the dark

It's raining outside and it's cold. The will to do anything is none. I considered dragging myself out of bed but to no avail. The body is stronger than the mind and eventually brawl wins over brain. So I stayed in bed. You know, I kinda like being in bed 'cos it's like my inner sanctum. It's a place where I gather my thoughths and try to put em into some kind of order. If that's possible in my case. Even better when I'm completely immersed in the darkness. Things flow much better in my mind when I'm in the dark. It's like I have no distractions whatsoever and nothing interfers with my reasoning process. God I wish everything was so simple like that...

My first post

My first post has been published and following this one I hope many more will come. Blessed be all those who come here and leave your comments. Thank you :)

The first day

Unknown (part I)

Under her dark veil, she wrung her hands
"Why are you so pale today?"
"Because I made her drink of stinging grief
Until she got drunk on it.
How can I forget? She staggered out,
Her mouth twisted in agony.
I ran down not touching the bannister

And caught up with her at the gate.
I cried. That's all that it was...
"If you leave, I'll die."
She smiled calmly and grimly
And told me: "Don't stand here in the rain."