Wow, guess it's been a while I haven't written anything in here. Main reasons, lack of inspiration, will, time.. Whatever..
I have been on the 'puter for some time now just being mopey. Only in my head I got hundreds of things going on, instead I look blankly at the screen... Can you be more blank-head than just to stare at it? I don't think so...
If you haven't noticed, I am a little down-sided today, I haven't slept properly for the past few days either. So, sometimes that turns me in whether a vegetable or a day walking zombie.
Well, anyway on with some stuff. I had a neat idea for a flash movie (2 actually, but the other one is still on the forge) Problem is I don't deal Flash or even have a slight notion of it. Oh well, guess I'll have to look at it anyway. I mean, I have pre-conceived notion that Flash is like some easy crappy thing but still I don't get it. Only makes ya feel dumber right? Or I could be wrong...
The guide story for it I think it's funny. Will see how it will turn out.
Other thing I've been thinking/working about are some comics/strips (no biggie, really) that I want to post on the blog. The comic has a title already "We love Lucy." As predictable as can be, yes, one character is Lucy. It's about some gal and some neato/freaky friends/family of her. Any similarities with reality are pure coincidence.
I was talking to a friend of mine not long ago, first on phone, then MSN (I got outta cred...) and she was doing her best to cheer me up (I know, I'm a pain in the ass (._.) ) Dunno if she heard much of it, but anyway after I got penniless, we carried our talk online, inserting some dark/sarcastic humor in between, and she was like "I know you're not on your best today, but can I send you a song? I think it's beautiful and, despite the tone, I believe you'll like it too."
"Sure, send it." I am always a sucker for songs, the more the merrier. Not in this case, I wasn't really in the mood, oh screw it. (notice the ferocious internal struggle with myself)
She said she was going to bed and told me to listen it and tell her something after. She still let MSN on so it could finish downloading and I am doing some sketches for my new crafty project. Yes, I know I am on a late schedule here. But anyway, I intend to create it the same way. Plastic arts were never my stronghold. However, I discovered that I might have a natural skill to it. Sculpting, molding, things like that. And it's funny 'cos I've never tried it before and now I have people asking me for pieces after seeing my work. (I haven't made many, but still I got perhaps half a dozen) I guess it's nice. Makes me feel a little more confident in myself.
Great, it's done. I closed the window and added it to Winamp. When I get a new song, I always delete my entire list first and add it solely. I want to listen to it without any other songs in the middle, above or below.
Just
that one.
OK, let's see what we got here. I pushed the play button.
The strings started in a very slow tone in the background. Then a lead string came forth. Any mental, physical, bodily activity that could be running, stopped in that moment. I just listened to the melody of a melancholic, woeful violin/cello (I am not sure, not expert here). It seemed so sad and so deep. So... imprisoned in its own grief. Then a harp. It subtly played the notes on the mid-stances of the violin's "verses". I was absolutely struck as I listened to it with my eyes closed. I could feel my eyes, my head were gently swaying at the violin's melody, accompanying its sadness.
The lights on my room were dimly lit so it helped a little to be carried away on that journey. The backgrounds did the backing perfectly, the harp tucked the violin in such a warm hearting way. I noticed I started crying. But I didn't mind. I kept listening with my eyes closed. It was absolutely breath-taking. It has been a long time since a song touched me so deeply like this one. And not because I was sad or anything, I was but it got nothing to do with it. It really reached inside. It broke me, but it didn't hurt. How can something brake you and not hurt? It was a silent force that entered me, so overwhelming and yet, tender. By the end, the backgrounds, the violin and the harp made an exquisite mixture ensemble when playing all together.. The song, despite having the same tone, the same pauses, the same notes, now it wasn't sad anymore. It was comforting. All the instruments together seemed to embrace such state of... grace. Then the violin solo again, reaching the highest notes and just standing there... Brilliant ending. I totally glided throughout the whole track, feeling all the ups and downs of the staff. I felt now that my tears were no longer of sadness. The gloominess was still there, but the grace, the comfort, the peace I felt at the end was beautiful. I hadn't felt like this since ever. I let go of myself, it broke my defenses down and one song made all the difference.
One word.
Speechless.
Whether it was pure luck or what I don't know, she got it. Sometimes, I think that there are people that say or show things to us that seem to know so much more than we do. And the things they say or show us seem to be a perfect fit for whatever situation we're dealing with. Don't know if I call it a sixth sense, feminine intuition (in this case) but I am so glad she sent me the song. I have to thank her.
I think I will sleep oh so very well tonight...*soft smile*
This beautiful picture is from Himeji Castle in Japan.
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