This was an e-mail I got from a recent friend. I'd like to dedicate it to a friend I had long ago and now, due to selfish, egocentrical issues I do not have the pleasure to talk to.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?

Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing you had?
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all?

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

*What would you do if every time you fell in love, you had to say good-bye?*

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?*

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)*

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?*

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*

I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow (God Forbid) you would be in my heart. Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about you. You will send this back.
You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about friends.

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and .. always will..

I care about you. :, )

Tears of a different kind

As I lie awake at night,
I try not to cry with all my might.
I just cant get you off my mind,
But these are tears of a different kind.

I told myself that I would not fall head over heels,
I wish that you could know how this feels.
It was almost as if I was driving blind,
But these are tears of a different kind.

Tears of love and tears of hate,
Tears of regret and tears of debate.
Tears of hurt and tears of pain,
Tears of shock and tears of shame.

O dia corre lentamente. Acordo desapontada mas levanto-me. Ultimamente é assim todas as manhãs. Quase que parece um suplício abrir os olhos. É por isso que preciso dela. Para fazer desaparecer todo este sofrimento nem que seja por um instante. Apenas para fazer algum sentido nesta vida sem sentido que levo. É tudo isso que a vida é... uma fraca substituta para o Inferno.

Se não o fosse, então porque existem tantas pessoas infelizes? Incluindo eu própria?
A vida não é o que fazemos dela... A vida é uma aventura doentia apenas à esperar de morrer mesmo antes de nascer. Desde a primeira vez que respiramos, começamos a morrer, decompondo-nos em nada.

Viver é viver em dor, sofrer dentro de nós próprios, esperando que não gritemos por ajuda. Mesmo quando gritamos por ajuda, estamos a posicionar-nos numa bola de rejeição flamejante.

A moralidade de tudo isto é que não há propósito algum para a vida humana. A vida humana está aqui para destruir a Terra, somos nós a espécie alienígena... Destinados a viver uma vida de regras independentes, de moralidade. Sós, lutamos pela sobrevivência da raça que com ou sem as nossas mentes, não existiria. A vida é só uma ideia... uma ideia de bem-estar e felicidade que teóricamente é só um estado de mente.

As sombras que seguiram durante tanto tempo só agora começam a brilhar, observando a escuridão de alguns, tornados única e friamente para uma garrafa. Embriagados com ódio absoluto, afogando-se em si próprios.
Esta é a minha vida, estes são os meus dias; mas interrogo-me por quanto tempo mais. Não tenho a certeza. A única coisa que me impede de ir lentamente, de me dissipar num mundo do nada, de me dissipar num mundo onde pertenço é ela. Um mundo de solidão, remorsos e promessas quebradas, onde gozo as mágoas residentes em mim.

Quem precisa de viver quando podemos sonhar? Sonhos são tudo isto que as raças fracas se baseiam. Sem sonhos somos piores que nada. Simplesmente não existimos.

Tears to shed

If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain
If you cut me with a knife, it's still the same
And I know her heart is beating
And I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed...

If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the sun it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed...

The night is so dark. I look up not to see stars, but my own tears. One I have loved betrays me.
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

How many times we have spoken and laughed? How many times I have wiped your tears away? How many times have you helped me through a dark night such as this? How many times have you kissed me with the warmth of friendship heating your lips?
Judas will you betray me with a kiss?

Where are those others I also loved? Have they scattered to the winds as well? Was my devotion not gift enough? Was my adoration not treasure enough?
Judas will you betray me with a kiss?

The wind hints to me of a wrong that has been done. She cups her hands to my ear and whispers of those who grieve. I plead, “Gentle wind, I do not know from where you come, and I do not know where you go, yet do not leave me lost and alone. Do not fly away without telling me what transgression I have committed.” The breeze only howls and moans in response determined to keep her secrets. She frustrates me and leaves me shattered. The unforgiving wind leaves me alone to bleed, leaves me to suffer with my confusion and pain.
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

Where have I wronged you? Where I have placed pain in your heart instead of joy and laughter? Where have my lips cursed you instead of lifting you up?
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

In dark shadows you have hidden. In hushed whispers you speak to those hidden specters of intrigue and deception. Tales of pain exchanged. Yet do these tales reach my ears so that I can mend the breach? Was there a way to right a wrong?
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

Can a wrong that has never been brought to light be righted? When the light of day shines upon it and dispels the darkness, will there be anything left to see? If I remove the bandage from your wound to heal you, will there be a wound to see?
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

Without a groan I will take the lashings the memories of love for you have to give. Without complaint I will allow my wounds to bleed.
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

Silently I will remain in the darkness. Without reproach I will carry my cross up the mount where simple key strokes will drive the nails into my flesh. Silently I walk through the throng of those who would cry, “What crime has this one committed?”
Judas would you betray me with a kiss?

Tendrils of light begin to illuminate the sky yet this black veil will never be lifted from my heart. In darkness my love will remain where soon it will wither and die. With death comes the only true release from pain and suffering and I will invite her to my table to recline with me. I will let her caress me. Her cold lips will press to mine and in death I will be renewed.

Judas will you betray me with a kiss?