Maternal Instincts

Yesterday a friend of mine called me early on the morning. I only picked up due to the fact that she is indeed a good friend. She seemed a bit desperate and she asked if I could meet her as soon as possible. I still protested a bit, saying that I was rather tired and if she couldn't get anyone else to go with her. It didn't have any effect.

So off I went. We met at the café just a few blocks from my place. Needless to say that desperate was an understatement..

Between bites (Yes I got out without my breakfast! Can you believe that?!) I managed to understand the reason for her distress: She thinks she's pregnant. I asked her several times if she was really conviced about it to which she aswered:

Round 1) "Yes! Asolutely!"

Round 2) "Well I am sure I am..."

Round 3) "Hm.. I think so.."

Round 4) "Really? I dunno.."

Have you done the test? I ask. That got a nice fuss from her face. She says she hasn't. Well how are you supposed to know if you're pregnant if you HAVEN'T done the test?!

That also drew some lip-twitching from her.

Well? Are you gonna do it or not? She was uncertain. "C'mon, let's go." I took her by her arm.

"Wh-Where?"

"To the pharmacy. I'm gonna get you a pregnancy test."

Imagine me, getting a pregnancy test! I, of all people! *shrugs sholders* Well, one can never say never.. But as I was waiting in the line my thoughts sort of started difting.. What if...

No doubt I want to have kids. Actually I've been wanting it quite a while ago.. I think I'd absolutely love the fulfilling experience that is motherhood. Sometimes when I look at mothers' and their kids, mothers'-to-be, I get a little melancholic. I realize.. I want that too.

I got her the test, we got back my place and she did it.

All is well when it ends well.. She wasn't pregnant after all. At least that's what the test showed. But I.. I felt somehow a strange sense of longing...

Maybe deep down inside, I secretly wished it was me... And that the result had been different.

Maybe I am just hallucinating.