I feel weird today. I'd be lying if I said I didn't know why or what is making me feel this way. I had a truly enlightening conversation with a friend yesterday. But honestly, I do not know if I should call it enlightening...
I still don't know if I should have said the things I did. But in one hand... I feel some kind of relief however.. I feel like I've done a big, big mess.
I got to bed later last night, around 4AM.. Needless to say that I didn't get any sleep. I woke again at about 6.30 and I was nauseous. I had to throw up.. I've been sick all day long.
Do you think it's easier to talk to a complete stranger about earth-shattering events in your life, or instead with some one who is a good friend?
I cried last night. I wouldn't call them tears of sadness. More of consolation I'd say. I can't help to feel bad about it. Last night when I started talking I had no idea it would take the path it did.. I guess I got scared. I've seen so many people come and go in my life that I don't want to go through that again. The fear of rejection sometimes speaks louder than the will to be strong and courageous.
I.. I don't like to talk about me because it makes me feel vulnerable and I don't want people to see that side of me. But I couldn't have told her. I know she is my friend and she says everything is going to be fine.. Will it truly? : (
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up some more.. My stomach gets really sensitive lately.
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5 comments:
Yes, it's easier to talk to strangers because if they judge us...well we can just don't give a damn. To tell a friend... well... friends always might be right... :)
Feel free to talk to me anytime as a friendly stranger if you need to! xxx
yup, easier to talk with strangers but it's more fulfilling to talk to a friend.
let me explain: the first step is horrible, the "hmmm i'm gonna pick up the phone and call her" but the RELIEF of talking with her and she listening and telling you everything is going to be ok is reassuring. sometimes your so used to thinking bad things about yourself (not specifically you, just generally speaking) that you need somebody else to point out the good things in you and tell to "cut that crap" and that you're wrong. :)
Yes, you are all probably right. Well now that a couple of days have passed and I've talked to her again, I feel better.. But even so.. I guess I worry a lot over little things.. anyway, I think things are looking better now. For a change :)
its good to hear things are getting better, and well in my opinion yeah its easier to talk to stragers, more or so because u dont have to worry about what they will think of you, but its always Qool to talk to friends , so either one should help lol any how, hope u feel better and get some motivation for writing :)
I'm not going anywhere girl.
You can tell me everything... I'll always be your friend. ;) One of your best friends (can I decide that for you? O_o )!
you see? After all those things you told me, I'm still here. =) don't worry about it.
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